Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
