Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She's like a pop up book from hell.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
