Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i out mim tonsoeep
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