I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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