Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
