Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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