why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
