If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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