who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
