And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize