dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
