I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
