I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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