I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
