It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
two words...techno handjob
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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