i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
last night I used snow as a chaser
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