How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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