Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
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You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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