Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
