she was so not down for the gang bang
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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