it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
