A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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