She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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