She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i came on her dog
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
