I think i peed on brittanys purse
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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