oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
