dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
