Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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