Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
