doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
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2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
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I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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