i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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