this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
So apparently I’m into choking now
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
