um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
