So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize