If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
