My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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