if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
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I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
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well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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