I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize