Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
