I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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