I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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