I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
