Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
