worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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