remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
