Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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