i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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