im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
