Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize