im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize