It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
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Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
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On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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