Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
