It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
