I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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