yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
