all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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