well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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