So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
