the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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